I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
