I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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