dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
