Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
