This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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