Your tits are I can't wait for
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just gift wrapped bread.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
