It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
