you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
