guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
