i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
