Kiss
Puke
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
