The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
