You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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