I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
