Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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