we have officially mastered the walk of shame
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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