girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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