just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
