ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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