And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
