I wish i was in the wii world.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
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Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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