Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
