how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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