I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
