So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
