Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Green mimosas i think yes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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