i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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