I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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