Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you're hired as official boob wrangler
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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