Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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