Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
