He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize