Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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