We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
