you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
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I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
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Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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