so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
this will be a night to untag.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
