First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
