Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I looked at my own cervix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize