Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
