I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My bed smells like the plague
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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