My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
