She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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