Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
