We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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