I'm so fucking centered right now
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
