saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize