I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
only if we run a train.
done.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize