what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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