I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
