I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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