i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
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