i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
