Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
