Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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