dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
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i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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