There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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