sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
