He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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