I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
