whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize